Tim Minchin - Woody Allen Jesus

Woody Allen Jesus

Tim Minchin

Jesus was a Jewish philosopher

Had a lot of nice ideas

About our existential fears

Much admired by his peers

Short and Jewish and quite political

Often hesitant and very analytical

Praise be to Jesus

Praise be to Woody Allen Jesus

Woody...Allen...Jesus!

Jesus was a great entertainer

Doing cools tricks all of the time

Turning water into wine

Make stormy weather fine

Even now his stunts confound us

Kind did what Derren Brown does

Praise be to Jesus

Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Jesus

Magic...Woody...Allen...Jesus!

Jesus died but then came back to life

So the Holy Bible said

Kind like in Dawn of Dead

Like a movie by Silmon Pegg

Try that these days, you'd be in trouble

Geeks would try to smack you with a shovel

Praise be to Jesus

Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Zombie Jesus

Magic Woody Allen Zombie Jesus!

Jesus ascend into heaven

He was an incredible guy

Desappeared right into the sky

You don't often find fellas that fly

And only once did he use his ability

With a great power comes great responsibility

Praise be to Jesus

Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Zombie Super-Hero Jesus

Jesus!

Jesus' mother gave birth to him

Without having sex with a dude

No, she would never be that rude

Never even being nude with the dude

Breeding without the opposite gender is

Commonly known as parthenogenesis

Other animals that don't need males

Include a lot of lizards, and various snails

Praise be to Jesus

Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Zombie Superman Komodo Dragon Jesus

Jesus!

Jesus can communicate with the deceased

Like Psychic Sally

Jesus live forever, which is pretty odd

But not as odd as his fetish for drinking blood

Jesus is in more than one place at a time

Like an electron or Schrödinger's feline

Jesus pulled off that water walking miracle

He was as handy as an amphibious vehicle

Jesus long hair, bare feet and a beard

Look, i'm not saying i am Jesus

I'm not saying that i am Jesus

I'm not saying that i am Jesus

I am Jesus!

Praise be to Jesus

Praise be to Woody Allen Jesus

Woody Allen Jesus!

Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Zombie Super-Hero Komodo Dragon Telepathic Vampire Quantum Hovercraft Me Jesus!